When Nichol Ng thinks about her childhood memories, she remembers the body-policing she endured.
It was there in her family’s joking remarks about her food intake. It rang true in the humiliation of being ‘overweight’ and banned from ballet classes. At the age of five, Nichol began to believe that there was something wrong with her size.
By 11 years old, her desire to be perfect had manifested into an unhealthy control of her food intake.
She would weigh each calorie consumed against the seconds she spent working out. Uneaten food would be creatively arranged to hide her lack of consumption.
When she decided to take control of her eating disorder, she began to redefine happiness.
Nichol’s path to recovery involved many hours unlearning her idea of perfection. No longer was it defined by a weighing scale or a measuring tape.
She now sees food as a means to spread love through the organisation she co-founded that redistributes food to the needy.
And she’s most excited to teach her children the confidence and self-love that she now possesses.
‘Being Nichol’ is the fourth episode of Confessions, a social documentary series, featuring the secret voices of Singaporeans who go through extraordinary circumstances.
Confessions is part of the Viddsee Voices project to develop original films that explore with local content creators issues commonly overlooked in our society.